A ticking clock and Fliss continues to wait!!

Hi you complete gems

I must admit this is the longest period I have gone without a blog posting but there has been so much going on. Anyhow here I am at last, disturbing your peaceful week( all those working or looking after children (!) will probably be stressed and thinking “little madam how dare she talk about peace!!”) and yes I am STILL relishing my freedom. I am being enlarged in the waiting and really needed this sabbatical time. The tiredness does remain an issue and I am seeing the psychologist ( doctor’s orders with Incap. Benefit!) on 10th so let us see what happens. I will be on my best behaviour though or maybe just be normal and let them assess that!!!

I found a purple and green 1947 car in Google but cannot copy it. I would need a driver of course and the home to go with it but one never knows. I never thought I would put a car on the blog but I am running out of ideas and thought that if I put another amazing picture of myself on, I would loose the only 2 friends I have, so I refrained!!! (It has copyright so can't)!!

Many of you will know that dear Angela died on Sunday 19th and the service was last Friday (3rd). It was an incredible funeral if one can have that, and every facet of her personality was mentioned. She will be dearly missed but I strongly believe she is more alive now than ever. She had such a generous heart, a fantastic laugh and all of us who knew her loved her to bits. I give thanks for the huge privilege of having known her and the fact she drew people from all different walks of life, ages, backgrounds, beliefs etc was one of her greatest gifts. She loved us all unconditionally which brought such liberty. She would have loved the gathering of her family, friends and colleagues at the wine bar afterwards. Special thanks to all those who did so much to make it exceptional and you know who you are. Great to meet her dearly loved nieces too who are also amazing reflections of their generation.

One of the most remarkable parts of Friday was meeting Ben who is Julia’s eldest son my dearest friend ( and many would say the same) who died 11 years ago. It did not seem five minutes since I was taking him to St Albans to feed the ducks!! To see this remarkable young man with amazing qualities, the ability to put people at their ease and take such an interest in them is an extremely rare gift in one so young. Although I think he was pretty amazed that a 46 year old has music on her phone, can put email addresses on it and can write blogs!! Ok so it is waffle but that is beside the point. I will of course be praying for you Ben as you decide about the future. We agreed that busking outside the Ritz might be an option soon for us both so let us meet up soon!! I hope you can sing because I can't!!

I met Angela’s Bible Group a week before the funeral and found them to be amazing, open, welcoming, with a heart for others which is brilliant and, despite the emotion of the meeting in the face of our loss, for me it was a rich time. I have known so many of you for so many years that I carry on being myself even with new people and forget they have no previous experience to go on but I just pray they will “take what is worth taking and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away”!!! We will see!!! The house we met in was incredible in its sense of God’s peace which impacted you as soon as you stepped over the threshold. So you classy, amazing ladies and complete gems thanks for being so inclusive, making me laugh, your hospitality, calorie free biscuits Penny before the funeral (!!)and simply being yourselves. I presume God is paying you all well!!!

I had lunch with Judith from Norwich in classy St James’s in Bushey and Val from St Albans on another day and it is great that we still find loads to talk about on really interesting issues and you both still make me laugh so much. Great about the book club Judith. You star. You are both dear friends and I am so glad Julia introduced us Judith all those years ago and thought we would hit it off. Divine inspiration I am sure. Sorry Judith did I hear you say biggest mistake He ever made!!! Get a life!

True to form, I have been to the Grove (groan!) quite a lot and the wonderful manager got Janet and I in when it was “fully booked”in the lounge. We also got freebies thrown in and despite my protestations and willingness to pay, we only paid a pittance! All those local to the Grove do not dare go in and try and do the same. I probably keep the whole multi million pound place going so …!!! Can,t she talk about anything else you all chorus! No! I also went with Amanda recently where we sat by the fire, had a glass of wine and a pot of tea. Fantastic to see you and the evening was a bargain! I am due to take one more person this week who is sick of me going on about it and never been before.

You never guess what but I think God might be challenging me to give up chocolate, cake and wine for Lent!! All those who know me are aware that I think I will find wine impossible and I wonder if that makes me an alcoholic. I say it tongue in cheek but with several girls who lunch dates, I shall really struggle. At the point of writing I HAVE 2 days left. Oh dear!! Any new people reading this will be horrified that I will find this so difficult but this is reality.

I heard Shirley Williams on Desert Island Discs and enjoyed it and especially the music she choose except the War Requim!! Dire!!I had not realised that she had re-married after her marriage to Bernard Williams the philosopher ended in divorce. Her 2nd husband, the American political scientist Richard Neubardt sounded a great guy- wise, full of integrity, intelligent but humble, deeply loved by many and compassionate. Despite his elevated position, he showed it was possible to retain these kinds of qualities in the face of American politics ( or any nations politics). That takes a special kind of person and is extremely rare today. I would like to read more about him.

I had a message on my answer phone on 27th to say there is job in the capital of Burma teaching English at the YWCA for as long as I like. I have sent an email to all those who pray for me to ask for wisdom and prayer. I think I shared a picture that a friend had recently;
She saw a clock and the hour hand had stopped. She said I possibly felt that time was ticking by and nothing was happening. However God was going to offer me the opportunity to step out of the circle ( do I want to as I have just got my life back!!) and it would make my heart sing BUT I must NOT weigh up the pros and cons.She said that it would refresh my spirit and restore my soul. Frankly I think teaching English would be so boring! I have a conference on Burma in London on Saturday and the Today programme on Radio 4 have done a report from Burma EVERY DAY ( WOW ) at 7.32. The world has got to wake up rather than turning a blind eye. One day it might be too late.
I must set aside time this week to pray about it.

Another quote was:
“ The will of God will not take you where the power of God cannot keep you”


The day after the funeral I did Soul Sista which I have mentioned before and had 5-600 girls between 12 -16 and is taken by 6 classy, fantastic 25 year+ who are brilliant role models, funny and I would say real ambassadors for Him. They are so honest about their own walk with God which gives great encouragement to the youngsters and me too!

I also had lunch at Kims with the wonderful ladies from church Sarah, Kim, Gill and Nicki with their guys on Sunday. Great to see you the other Friday evening and hear about life, family life and marriage.!! You are such gems. I learn so much from you all and it does make me laugh a lot. Kim you have a real gift of hospitality and make it look so effortless with homemade cake too, 3 children and college 3 times a week!!! Amazing.

The vicar in Bristol whose daughter died in the London bombings who resigned as she cannot forgive the perpetrators has been on the Today programme alot this morning. She has real intergrity in this incredibly difficult decision.

The flower display with my colours of course is from the place above which I dare not mention again!!. I still enjoy doing the blog even though I am probably the only person who reads it but it keeps me out of mischief for half and hour a fortnight so……

Lots of love you wonderful people and all you ex students in the upper 6th take one day at a time, keep calm and all will be well!! If any of you have any prayer requests then get my email from a previous posting and I promise to pray for you for £50 a prayer and £80 if the prayer is answered.!! Cheques can be made payable to….!!!!

Fliss ( or Miss G to you students who still find if difficult to call me Fliss)