Heart and health being restored and quality moments in life!

Hi you complete gems

For those of you that didn't see my post about my trip to Burma last year it is here

Much love of course and do continue to keep me posted at how you all are as I am interested. Guess what !! Following the churches across Watford service outside Watford Library I have just been to a pub opposite it, which is "not my scene" and total contrast to 2 places below!!!! and heard an amazing jazz group of guys in their 50's and 60's. I had gone with some youngsters from church and even had to borrow some money for a bitter lemon after the service so thanks Andy G!!


So how is dear old Fliss? Well it has been a good month with a real variation of things, much restored energy ( at last!!!)wonderful people, opportunities but STILL no clarity and round and round on mentoring in schools, universities, Burma, lay chaplaincy, Christian organisations, 2 R.S. posts locally etc. Despite the frustration of not knowing I still feel a peace.

Last Sunday I attended Christ Church in Oxford one of my favourite cities, as Gordon Hickson, my old pastor from Garston, was being ordained as a deacon at St Aldates. I heard Rachel his wife speak at a breakfast the previous Saturday and, as ever, her talk was wonderful and spoke so much to my heart. You gem Rachel. Their marriage is one of the strongest and best I know, where each has flourished so much. I long for the day when they write a book on marriage, as it will be such a blessing to loads of people. Whilst day dreaming slightly I thought Lord please do not call me to ordination (as there were 3 ladies being ordained as deacons!!) and the hymn containing the words “all vain things which charm me most …”. Immediately I thought of the trip to the Grove the following day, wine bars, concerts, tea shops, art galleries etc. All for our enjoyment, enrichment and yes they do charm me and I THINK they are a gift from you know WHO, who knows what I need!!!

So, the following day saw me at the Grove with Niki the amazing former head of school who left her old and crabby R.S teacher waiting in the cold and rain for 25 minutes!! What a nerve and, even though I had my amazing chocolate umbrella, I now have pneumonia and am sitting in bed writing the blog!!! The fact that you left part of your chocolate cake (which was guaranteed to give anyone a heart attack but a better choice than mine!) so I could try it, DOES NOT let you off the hook dear Niki. Oh no! You were obviously confident that I would wait and know I think you are gem ( but do not push it!!) which is definitely a step of faith as you know exactly what I am like from school days.Intolerant!! Anyway I had a great time even walking round in the rain after tea with the chocolate umbrella !!! You remain a wonderful ambassador for the next generation with brilliant qualities and such maturity in the face of your old R.S. teacher going off on one for the first 3 minutes. What is new! FAR too gracious and only 19! I am humbled for the moment!!! Hope it didn’t smack of the Spanish Inquisition too much! You star!!!! ( sorry did I REALLY go to the Grove with my hair a real mess!)

I attended the Chinese Embassy along with about 150 others to demonstrate about the situation in North Korea where people are being sent back to Korea and they are not being treated as refugees. What awaits them? You can guess - torture, imprisonment and even death. A letter was presented to the Embassy so we will see what happens. Who is kidding who(m?) about change in a country which is having a profound affect on the rest of the world but have human rights changed there!! I get stuff all the time from different organisations so although after the controversial and brilliant documentary "the dying rooms" maybe they have in some areas!!

I also went to the Berkhamsted tea shop/antique shop and a walk down the canal with the person I am mentoring. I even saw a BRILLIANT PURPLE WATERING CAN TOO!!It is so exciting as she is hearing God so much through the Bible, prayer, dreams, is praying with other people too, has a great circle of friends and is learning loads from Him and life as she sees His purposes unfold in her life. The only blot on the horizon was that cool( or sad ) Fliss with music on her phone at 47(!!!) was trying to send 4 tracks from my phone to hers to educate her on taste, BUT we did not quite manage that yet as the younger generation have not quite mastered the phone!! Really!!!!You have great qualities and your heart for people is cool dear Jemma. Long may it last you gem.

One track I was trying to send was that amazing piece I mentioned last time from Gladiator called “ Now we are Free”. Awesome. Definately for a number of countries I could mention!

Also this week the neighbour situation has been intolerable – more abuse, motor bikes up and down for 2-3 hours at a time, music, football games etc. I asked the prayer group to pray on Thursday as it stretches the nerves to the extreme. I KNOW in the light of any of the above in Korea, it is nothing. I sincerely hope when I go to heaven that, after putting up with this for 12 years God has a really wonderful house for me or should I say mansion with no kids and yobbish youths giving me a hard time!!!!!

It was great to see Wendy yesterday and sit on the terrace with a cuppa and 6 biscuits for £4 at wonderful St Michael’s Manor and then walk round the gardens. Awesome and so peaceful. Thank you so much for your time. I cannot believe we went to Israel together over 20 years ago and I have taught both her children. How time flies. I do not think we look much different and you are still amazingly classy dear Wendy. Above is me in the lounge (and IF Lord you are listening I wouldn’t mind a house on earth like this!!!!) at St Michael’s which has David Roberts pictures of Israel, lovely blue and white chairs, jazz music and it is so relaxing. I plan to take others there in time.

I then saw the wonderful Lisa who I love to bits and lives in Harpenden but we met in St Albans. I had a starter and rocket salad at Zizzi’s which was fabulous and very tasty. So two great people in the same day. I am truly privileged. God gives us what we need ( challenge) and what we want and need ( enriching relationships that bless beyond ones wildest dreams). I know you will be slightly cross when you see this Lisa but I think it demonstrates your amazing compassion and you are one of the most compassionate people I know!!Sorry!!!

Last Friday I heard a moving account by Nick Clarke from the BBC on Radio 4 at 9 am called “Fighting to be Normal”. He had a leg amputated and was speaking about his experiences along with his wife and 2 little boys. It left me in tears and I suspect many others. It can be downloaded I think from the web site although I did record it if anyone wants to borrow it. Such courage, honesty and guaranteed to challenge us all. I rang the BBC to say thank you that as brilliant and easily the best thing on the radio for ages.

I WONDER how the wonderful ladies from Angela’s Bible study are getting on. If any of you are reading this I hope the moves go well for the three of you and your families. I know you will be a real blessing wherever you go even though your loss will be felt by all those who know you in London. You gems as well as those who are not moving.

Tomorrow I am off to Nottingham to see Claire who worked with me for 4 years and is a fantastic asset to the teaching profession. She is also incredibly gracious( a saint I think!!) and we would never have accomplished what we did as a Department if she had not been willing to take enormous risks with me as we stepped out in God and totally relied on Him to get us through!!! Lots of scary moments!! I know it will be wonderful to see you dear Claire, have a glass of wine or two. Wine, great company( my own!!Sorry Claire no more new jokes) and probably much to laugh about. What more could one ask for !!!! ( Now I have been and even took at photo of a purple and green bus but Claire ran off in embarrassment!!

I attended a session on dream interpretation with about 30 in the church. Actually I have lost faith that God will speak to me in dreams as I have been praying for 12 years about it and only had one ( I think!!). I feel I need to step out in faith and start believing again and have a pen and paper by my bed. One well known guy James Ryle asked God why he spoke in dreams when He could easily give though prayer, prophecy etc. Can you guess what the answer was? He felt God say “because you CAN’T INTERRUPT!!” I do find that amusing. So we will see!!

Any wisdom on the house move or anything you feel God might be saying to me please pass on. Today I clearly felt Him say “keep your mouth shut” and do not say anything just when I was about to say something this morning. Amazingly as you will all find it, He does not say “shut up” to me very often even though many of you cannot understand why!!

I think a glass of chilled wine calls, but I DO NOT BELIEVE the reductions at the supermarkets are genuine as they say an average wine was originally £6.99 and now £4.40 and you know full well that is complete hogwash !! Bach's B Minor too - divine!
Must get my beauty sleep as off to Notts tomorrow for the day so......!!!! No, I know I do not need beauty sleep but ......!!!!

You will be pleased to know a tin of purple paint fell in the shed and is on everywhere including the lawn!!!! Green lawn and purple paint!!

So, you gems, much love as always. ( If the 3 of you have issues with photos on blog even though I asked 2 of you let me know and for a small fee £3,000 I might remove them!!)

Fliss xxx

Heart still being changed & peanut butter Kit Kat!! June

Hi you complete gems
( Fliss in Karen outfit with purple heart shoes!!)

I am starting this on Bank Holiday having just eaten an Indian meal from the Bengal, the best Indian take away in Watford. It looks nothing from the outside but the food is excellent and they always give me extra things thrown in!! I am also watching House on channel 5 which I recorded recently. This week Hugh Lowrie, as House, is trying to sort out a guy who is a Christian and of course, being the no 1 sceptic, it should make good viewing!!

Last week was very difficult on the exhaustion front - one of the worst so far and feeling rough 4 days of the week, so trying some new multi vitamin and will get the thyroid checked out and been lent a book on healthy eating by dear Sarah so....!!

I did manage to celebrate Nicki's birthday on Friday evening and on Saturday there were 300+ girls for Soul Sista where there was an excellent talk on self image by Ali combined with a cafe selling great cakes etc, pamper corner, clothes rack and others selling books and music. Everyone I spoke to loved it and it fills me with admiration to see these amazing young people trying to live out their Christian faith in very difficult circumstances. I realize so much how fortunate I am to be at Soul Survivor which is a great church in so many ways. I also want to a barbecue on Sunday at Ros and Kevin's who are emigrating to New Zealand on the 9th and got driven there in style by the wonderful Marcia and Alan who are two very kind people both with a good sense of humour.

The picture above is me in a Karen outfit and the other picture is when we stood outside the Burmese Embassy to demonstrate about the disgraceful scenes and violence against the ethnic groups in Burma particularly the Karen and the Chin where rape is a regular occurance, villages are burnt down, landmines used, 15,000 IDP's are in Burma or on the Thai /Burmese border, churches burnt down, Christians forced to convert, the army marrying Chin women and other appalling actions. On Saturday following the visit of Burma of the deputy Secretary General of the United Nations Ibrahim Gilbrani, there was some talk that Aung Sang Sui Kyi might be released from house arrest after 10 years and 17 in detention but typically this did not happen. The other picture is of course a reconstruction but even so this is genocide, it is evil and still the rest of the world is stalling and even though people like Desmond Tutu, Vaclav Halva and others are speaking it is still not enough. OK you are tired of me going on about it.....

I am reading several books but the one that really has my attention is one by my old pastor Rachel Hickson who lives in Oxford with her husband Gordon but travels all over the world to speak. Some of you will remember I went to India with her in the 90's on one of her speaking trips which was amazing. It is called Supernatural Communication and is so honest, practical and has an account of her amazing escape in 1984 in Zimbabwe, where a brain scan showed extensive brain damage and she developed multiple fat emboli still makes me cry as she was part of our church at that time. Her husband and parents were told to come to Zimbabwe and take her body home .. and as we say the rest is history as thousands prayed. And yet she says that, even knowing that prayer saved her she STILL found prayer difficult and yet she hears God speak in an amazingly intimate and practical ( and often amusing )way. I would strongly recommend it as it is such an encouragement to us all. I might hear her speak on 17th in Oxford with 4 others from Soul Survivor.

I wonder how you all are. All ex- students whether at university, college or school with exams I am sure you will be fine and do your best. It does not seem 5 minutes since I was speaking to you before waving you off to the numerous exam papers last year with the hope you would put more than your name on the paper!! Just a little joke and I admit not very funny!!

I am now writing on the 3rd June and the energy level has been improved by 90% so that is great. I have not cancelled anything this week, been out to lunch twice which is extravagent in one week and done alot. Two weeks ago I felt strongly that God was saying I was supposed to mentor someone at church ( bit of a joke when not 100%) and then 4 days later she came up to me whilst I was on the welcome desk and asked for a mentoring form and then said about me mentoring her! I did say that I was irritable, moody and straight down the line but if she could cope with that then I was perfect apart from those things!! We went to the pub on Wednesday evening and amazingly she was not asleep in the first 10 minutes!! Thankfully she is under no illusions. We are both on a pilgrimage and God is patient with us both.

There is one area that keeps recurring so will explore this a little more.

I am reading lots of different books and one recent novel is by Charles Johnson called Dreamer and is about a guy who is the spitting image of Martin Luther King and takes his place but is a real sceptic so should make interesting reading.He is certainly enlarging my vocabulary! The other is by a Chinese writer and is called Waiting.

Talking about China, I am off to the Chinese Embassy soon as there is another demonstration about the fact the Chinese are sending North Koreans back to their country when they escape and, being one of the most notorious regimes on the planet, they are likely to be executed. At the moment one Korean is faced with the death penalty for speaking out about the atrocities in North Korea.

I do need wisdom on whether I am meant to do a mixture of things eg mentoring, supply, chaplaincy, retrain etc. I have no clarity.

Today at a conference following coffee and cake in Cassio which was GREAT, a young 6th former from Bath had a picture of a quilt with all different threads and, though I have never met her in my life, she said she felt God was saying that all that is happening is being woven in and is necessary to the tapestry that He is producing of my life and it was all in His plan.

The psychologist continues to have her work cut out but is still being incredibly gracious!! I am still learning loads from it and it makes me think every Friday and challenges me big time during the week!!!Her diplomacy continues to be impressive. When it is all finished I am sure you will love my impersonation (spelling?)of me being the psychologist and talking to me!! On Friday at one point she said "I am unclear what you are trying to say" which made two of us probably due to one glass of wine I had consumed at lunch in Berko with a friend!!!

I forgot to say at the Soul Sista conference that Ali was talking about the names we have spoken over ourselves or what people have spoken over us. She challenged us to ask God to show us what name He had given us so I will continue to ask, even though I think He has just given me the 2nd part of it ( the 1st was on the platform of North Watford Station a year ago) but it seems so IMPROBABLE and not me that it probably is God!! We shall see. He is still doing LOADS OF WORK ON MY HEART ( YES STILL!!). I also re-read Grief Observed on the bus to Harrow in order to compare C. S Lewis's thoughts on the silence of God with my own.

Much love to all you amazing and dearly loved people. Try the peanut Kit Kat- awesome and no calories!!!!! Who am I kidding with twice the twirl bar!!

Flissxxx