Celebration at 50,sunflowers, Ritz, Velveteen Rabbit and Handel

Hi you wonderful people

I cannot believe that my last blog was in April when I was 49!! So much has happened in the last few months and I do not mind admitting that ,within the awesome wow factors, there have been sadness, loss and struggles to gain hope, peace and perspective - of course like most of the human race! KH if you are still reading this look at the recommendation at the end!

So let us start with celebration. I was 50 in May and celebrated about 6 times with wonderful people who have blessed my life more than I can say and the celebration will continue over the next year. I have also decided to take someone every month to the Ritz ( me sitting on the steps in Ritz above with shoes I had sprayed purple!) and I know there are several of you who could not come to the main celebrations so let us see if it is feasible. On the actual day I had lunch with the Faculty who were extremely kind about presents and we drank awesome Oyster Bay too and possibly I drank most of it encouraged ( but not needed)by someone who should know better!! In the evening 5 of us had wine on the Embankment and I drank out of my awesome heart glass and then heard the remarkable Harry Christophers and the Sixteen playing Handel! I had spoken to him at St Albans and said "any chance of playing Zadok the Priest on 12th May?" but he said there were no trumpets that night!! However he did sign my birthday book and said it was 30 years since he started the Sixteen and said how amazing on your 50th! HOWEVER guess what they played at the Proms last week ( which was televised on BBC 2 on 15th)? Yes ZADOK and played by him and the Sixteen. Also there really was PURPLE LIGHT as a backdrop at the Albert Hall just before that!!!! Wow Lord how awesome!!

Then on the Saturday there followed a Ladies Lunch at the Terrace in Piccadily where I took my heart ice cube set and asked them to put heart cubes in the water jugs! The food was awesome and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. You were all far too generous and you know I love you all to bits. People have been overwhelming generous in so many ways from Ali, John, Val and Ian taking me out to Ritz and Chutney Mary's to concert tickets, meals, lunches, loads of presents, visits to National Trust places ( which I have joined so lets go to places if any of you are free). I also went to Wells to see the wonderful Sue Wells and had a quick word with Emma Kirkby my favourite singer who was doing Handel, Vivaldi and who commented on my green top. I nearly invited her to join Fliss's Purple and Green Society on the net with 48 people on it so do join if you would like to!!!

The day of the meal in London I went up to see my dad in Preston and as I came out of the station I saw THE MOST AMAZING RAINBOW which lasted as I walked up the road and then faded. Wow factor and such an encouragement. He had been very ill for several months and after talks with the consultant and the family I still felt it was right to go to Burma 4 days later. That peace and certainty never left me but sadly he died on 26th May. I came back from Burma on 31st, taught for a day and then went up to speak at the funeral on the Friday. I can honestly say His strength and peace were amazing throughout the time. In the last 2 weeks I have been given sunflowers twice, seen at person's house I had not seen for 15 years, saw on the train and yesterday in Harrow on the Hill I saw on the wall. God always encourages me with these in the tough times to say look to Me! ( I found this heart in Burma and the other day when walking back down St Albans road I found 2 plastic hearts lying on the ground and a month ago purple and green heart confetti blew into the front garden!).

For the last 15 years I have wanted to return to Sissinghurst in Kent the home of Vita Sackville West and Harold Nicolson. I went to stay with the wonderful Val and Ian in Kent and Val and I enjoyed the day there. We both remember being wowed by the white garden but it was not quiet in its glory but still lovely. After being to Kew on the Monday with the wonderful Anita and then in London with dear Claire where we had an awesome meal at Shepherd's Market ( behind Piccadily) and a real find before getting into the Proms with literally 2 minutes to spare as we got returns, hearing Zadok and then Richmond with my wonderful old college friend Gail it has been remarkably cultural. Can you guess the RITZ ran out of biscuits!!I will bore you with that story when I see you all!! Stop yawning!!Tea at the Dolls House too have made it a memorable ten days so thanks to you Marcia.

In December 2008 I felt God gave me 2 verses and have they been relevant this year!! The are both from Romans 12 and 15. May the God of hope fill you with hope as you trust in Him and "be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer". I have also read loads of books this holiday from Home, Molly Fox's birthday ( both ok but not memorable)the Island which I loved and at 3am I was reading Rachel Hickson's book Supernatural Breakthrough ( my old pastor) and the chapter was entitled "Persistent Prayer -now is not the time to give up". It was not rocket science but said that most unanswered prayers are unfinished prayers, not to be decieved about what you do not do see in terms of answers to prayer as God always responds. She spoke about the amazing ways He speaks through nature and we plant a bulb and cannot see what is going on beneath the ground but we trust something is, but in our prayer lives we get discouraged and give up!! Yes I thought we do!

I really do need a new perspective and hope in one major area as it has caused the heart to become sick and the life has been drained out of me for months. The proverb "hope deferred makes the heart sick" is so apt. Yet He has allowed this for my growth!!!!What is the point of praying for more love and patience and then when He puts you in situations when you are stretched, you start wingeing!! I really wasn't serious when I prayed that!!!!Sorry Lord! I know this IS for my benefit even though it has exhausted me. I REALLY do know YOU are omniscient but are YOU SURE you haven't made your first ever mistake by.......!!! Strange silence from heaven!!

So must finish. The photos will not go between text so had to put them at the top which is annoying as loads of text can be tedious!!

Much love you amazing and much loved people. Thanks for all you have given to me over so many years. I am eternally grateful. Here is to the rest of 2009. I forgot to say that Sacred Hill and Grace Falls were BOTH on offer in the week we finished school!! Cannot help feeling that was symbolic and the next academic year will NOT be like the last or am I only indulging in wishful thinking! Time will tell.

May peace and love be ours in abundance. I will leave you with the VELVETEEN RABBIT and say I am off to Burma again on 24th October as found deal at 78 single and 103 return plus tax as felt the Lord told me 3 times one morning to go on the web whereas I knew I had been on loads and only seen 600-900 so left it twice as my imagination!! What a nerve!!

He is a God of hope so He will help me and hopefully by December I will look back and rejoice. I am reminded of words given at my baptism by Rachel Hickson's mum in 1982 from Proverbs "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight".

I think you must all be familiar with the children's story The Velveteen Rabbit. There is a section in it which I think is appropriate. Forget the grammar etc. I have spent enough time on this blog despite listening to Monteverdi Teatro D' Amore by Phillippe Jarouskey, Van Morrison and my purple and green CD by Harry C ! Kate H if you are still reading this then think you would love the Monteverdi and the CD cover is awesome and you can listen on Amazon and download each track for 79p!! Hope you are well and enjoying life and still doing great work.

What is real?asked the Rabbit.

"Real isn't how you are made" said the Skin Horse. It is something that happens to you when a child loves you for a long long time, not just to play with but really loves you.

Does it hurt? asked the Rabbit

Sometimes ( as he was always truthful) but when you are real you do not mind being hurt. It does not happen all at once. It takes time but it does not happen to those who break easily or have sharp edges or have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are real your hair has fallen off and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter because once you are real you can't be ugly except to people who do not understand.

So really life it is still all about growing in love and I KNOW my life has amazingly wonderfufl moments and much loved people which I am supreme grateful for. For me it is still the most important thing in the world, even if one of the most costly but DEFINATELY worth it. As St John of the Cross said "in the evening of our lives we will be examined in love".

Much love you gems Flissxx

You must try and listen to Monterverdi's Teatro D'Amore by Phillippe Jarousky which is remarkable. I heard it on the 1st January and loved it and bought the CD. I am listening to that, a birthday present of Harry C where the CD is purple and green! and Van Morrison as I write this!!

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