A cute 4 year old and a Twirl bar!! 4th January 06

Hi you stars!!
( hey girls this Twirl bar has only 6g of fat which is very important to consider as we ate lots over Christmas)

Much love at the beginning of 2006. Wow where did that last year go!! I think I would have given it 8 /10 for me as there was much to give thanks for in terms of experiences ( especially Burma), meeting new people, things accomplished ( learning to do a blog, ( thanks John) meeting 4 new people, getting A level and A.S through with other staff, risking year 9's and them achieving great GCSE results and 10's and 11's doing very well, learning to do digital photographs, copy music onto Cd etc) .

It is scary to think think this photo was taken 42 years ago and how many experiences I have gone through both exciting, sad, exhilarating and here is to many more, God opportunities, open doors, meeting new people ( met one a train yesterday and I think she will be a friend in time )etc in the coming year.

I came back from dads yesterday to find that one of my friends in Burma has just lost her mum to a heart attack . The friend is only 25 and that is tough. She is the first friend I met not the one who took me on the journey this year. If I had the money I would fly to Yangon for a week and just be around if she wanted to go for a walk and just talk. We will see. Mad but ....!!!

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE SEEN THE LION, WITCH AND THE WARDROBE yet? I absolutely loved it and would see it again if anyone wants to go. Magical, moving especially the death of Aslan and such a picture of Christ taken to the cross.

After I published the last post I met one of my Philosophy students Beth in Old Hemel for lunch and a quick walk round the park with great tinges of golden colours, frosty but still sunny. Thanks for giving up your valuable time Beth . I feel honoured and delivering a priceless statement at the garden of Remembrance that either of us could have uttered and which still made me laugh when I was walking to the station. Great to hear all about the richness of university life and all that you are experiencing. I hope any other students reading this will also have had an enjoyable first term at University and done some work which I doubt if school was anything to go by!!! Snigger, snigger. An afternoon of celebration for me so thanks again for listening to all the lack of clarity on my part and sifting through all of it with a breath of kindness which has always been one of your hall marks. Enough praise for one posting!!Ok so the rest of you students will be emailing Beth to say how ON EARTH DID you manage three hours of Miss G or Fliss as you can call me now!!! Actually I did notice Beth was wearing her MP3 player the whole time with very loud music.( Yes Beth I DID notice!!) So you peasants that is HOW she remained so sane. OK!! Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY as I think you are 19. Enjoy!

I am listening to Bach's Christmas Concerto which is abit late. I regret not going to any choral music concerts at the end of last year and must rectify that soon. Bach, Handel or Monteverdi would be uplifting if any of you know of stuff coming up in January.

So WHY hasn't anyone come up with the philosopher Mary Midgely's address yet. Dear me. Should I be offering chocolate bars again as a bribe! The depths I have to go to!!

Last month I went to see a Psychiatrist and his assistant as the doctor had asked me to see as in a transitional stage and a condition of being signed off. I had one and a half hours and they asked me loads. They were ready to lock me up on Monday for writing wacky blogs but I have deferred it as I am off to dads for 2 weeks!!I said that they must have a field day with any of us who have a faith!! I tried to be as honest as I could and it would have been interesting how those of you who know me would have answered the questions!! I said I felt that a period of bereavement and adjusting was important to go through whilst having no regrets about the decision. He said that he felt that I was not clinically depressed but had experienced burn out and sheer exhaustion. I do feel real hope though and anticipation which I am grateful for. "Faith, hope and love" says Paul "and the greatest of these is love." How many agree or would you put hope first and does love always bring hope? Any comments please and one person reading this will know where I got this from!!


I read some of Jeremiah and Lamentations in December. The poor guy had such a hard time of it. I feel God has been talking alot to me about idols, spiritual adultery, where we abide etc. One can look at the Jews of the OT and think flipping heck what is the matter with you guys. God was performing miracles and blessing you loads and yet you still left your first love and worshipped idols etc. Yet I know I am no different. I can only stand in awe at His incredible grace, patience, love and desire to still draw me even when I have often gone off and neglected Him for other things - see last post!! I wonder how many of our marriages, friendships etc would last if we treated others like some of us treat God.

Here are some quotes which have meant something to me:
"In the middle of the road of my life I awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost!" Dante
The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man ( or woman I add) while he lives" Albert Schweitzer
"All men die but few ever really live. "Braveheart ( a challenge to us all)
"The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it." William James

So at the end of last year it was a time of:
a) Looking at my own heart
b) Seeing things stripped away to make room for new growth
c) Looking at what stops me growing in the spiritual life
d) Reflecting on where I abide when the going gets tough in contrast to abiding in Him.
e) Assessing what makes my heart sing
f) Trusting the character of God
g) Seeing where I am still in my comfort zone
h) Will I step out for Him and do whatever He asks whatever the cost!!!

I did tell Dad about resignation and he said "You what!!", choked on his wine which was glorified water not chosen by me and not a patch on the stuff Jesus produced! and said ah well you must know what you are doing, it would freak me out but you youngsters do things differently and that was that!! He was great about it and said he would not interfere!

So at the beginning of the new year the mobile phone advert has been ringing in my ears " Just say yes and let the adventure begin" so I feel I am blindfolded, in a plane and God is asking me to TRUST Him and jump.

I have seen some great quotes in Blaise Pascal's Pensees and will try and get a copy. I am miffed that the library does not have any CS Lewis, Thomas Merton, John Bunyan but often has wacky stuff as an excuse for Christianity eg books by Neale something who is not even talking about Jesus.

Ah well. Much love and sorry any students that despite request for email to be published it wasn't so here it is. FlissGibbs@aol.com

Fliss with love

At the end of 2005 I am in the Wardrobe!!

You complete gems
(feedback on length of blog( too much waffle!!) and regularity would be appreciated. Next year if you want a mention on this world wide blog then it will be £5000 and you cough up before I put you on!!)

I cannot believe that one of the nicest photos of me is naff on the blog as on the computer all of the images are so sharp and clear. Behind me it says:The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in Him" which is very appropriate at the end of 2005. You will notice ( women probably will!!sorry guys) that the yellow duckling goes great with the yellow wall!!!

Actually the Lord probably stepped in and stopped the computer producing a Vogue like image of me as I already have an inflated sense of who I am !!It is actually water in the glass and not wine as it was only 9 am in the morning but those of you who know your Bible will be aware that the disciples were accused of being drunk when the Holy Spirit came upon them in Acts 2. However as it was only 9 o'clock in the morning no Jew would have taken alcohol that early. Ok so the rest of you are bored. Nothing new there then.

I am beginning to write this on 5th December and this morning I wrapped most of my Christmas presents, sent some off( got two returned) and wrote some cards. (YES! I am smirking!!)I must apologize for standard of cards this year but I decided I was not going to spend loads so I bought 5, 000 for 50p!! I usually give to a charity and would prefer to next year and just send one card on the blog next year. NOW there is an idea!!

Hey aren't these washing up bottles exciting!! Do not worry, people will always be more important to me than technology unless of course they are less interesting than waiting for the pictures to appear then ....! Of course my sister fits that description and do not worry Jayne when we meet I will pay for the first round of wine. I will have a specialised, large glass of something good and you can have small, sweet, cheap muck!! Ok. I know I am very naughty to use the blog to mention you, but only abit of fun but as you do not have a sense of humour this could be tricky!!!

In the last post of the year I must say thank you to all you fantastic people who have been so great this year, prayed for me, made me laugh, imparted wisdom and perspective, walked with me on the journey of life. I love you lots and I am not going to signal out particular ones as there are many but, as the influence of the following two has changed in my life, I wanted to say a special thankyou to Edith for being such a great line manager all those years, looking a million dollars everyday, being incredibly gracious ( how DID you manage it!) and to Linda B for being a great listening ear, classy, gracious and wise. Linda's blue bowl is in this blog with blue glass sweets from Burma here and Edith your necklace is perfect and makes me look even more classy!!. Impossible I hear you all say!!Actually both your blood pressures must now be normal now I have gone!!!

You know I really ought to have taken your job as Deputy Head Linda as I have SUCH diplomacy. Here is scenario when a member of staff ( there were hundreds) came to see you and I am you!!

Staff: Fliss can I see you for 5 minutes?

Me: Five minutes. I have heard that before.!!More like 35!! You only want to eat my best chocolate biscuits and my filter coffee. Clear off. Get a life. Stop snivelling.!!Some of us have work to do!!! Look at all this paper work and that cover list makes me want to jump off the science block EVERY DAY!!! Do I look like I have got time!!!

I also want to say a huge thankyou to Barbara G as you have been an incredible friend for over 15 years and I know your wisdom in God, heart for me and prayers have enriched my life more than I can say. Thank you does not even cover it.

The two friends who have come into my life more this year are Hilary and Anita.( both classy, with a sense of humour and chilled!!)Great to go to the Grove Hilary with you recently and have a cuppa in front of the fire on a fairly cold day. Anita I shall see you in the New Year. Here is to many more social events with you both but WHEN you really discover that I am really a head case you might be using hoovering as an excuse not to meet!! I have also met Suzanne ( who does my hair and deserves a medal ) and is great and Judy who is chilled, funny and I love your down to earth manner . Refreshing and welcome. I shall look forward to getting to know you all in 2006

The Hanover Foundation got back to me last week and they decided that I would not make a coach for the youngsters in London. I did pray they would both be in agreement on whatever decision was made. Possibly my honesty and slight vagueness could have been an issue!! Tricky one as I did have a peace( or maybe that was because I was directly opposite the OXO building whilst being interviewed and remembered all the great meals there!!) but did my heart come alive???and I believe the door was closed for reasons I will not know yet but one is usually left with more questions on guidance after the event.!!They are definately doing a great job and long for the day when they all over the country. All will be well for them and me. Of course I am not saying that my faith cushions the fact that I failed in that interview but a little reality is good for my ego!!!! Security can never be in what we do or our jobs and that will always be a lesson most of us can easily forget.

I also had lunch with Judy on Tuesday and met in Old Hemel which has a great gift shop, Christian bookshop which sells holy socks! and loads of places to eat with a least 2 braseries ( can't spell), 3 Indian and a coffee, sandwich deli kind of shop. We go back a long way at Parmiters and your humour, forthrightness and listening ear and perspective comments are all great. You star. On Friday I saw a dear friend who I love to bits in Berkshire and we were definately classy ladies doing lunch with pretty good wine. Sorry to all those who slaving away on Tuesday and Friday. My heart really does go out to you. Not!!

I also went to the Christmas Carol Service at school and felt slightly choked at one point but sorry I had to miss some of you students, as had to get a lift which I was very grateful for as I was wilting!! Remember I had been out all day lunching so very tiring!! Helen who gave me a lift is SO GRACIOUS. ( I am going to keep testing you so watch out Helen!! ) It was great to meet your parents and as I was wearing my purple longyi given to me by a friend in Rangoon and your dad was born in Rangoon, this gave an interesting touch to the evening!

I was way out of my comfort zone last Wednesday when I helped at the mums and tots Christmas Party at church!!! They have been getting over 90 mums with kiddies which is great but everyone knows me and toddlers and babies just do not mix. I admit to being useless with them but I did warn Ruth who is amazing and she was happy for me to help. Ruth you have that amazing gift of being enthusiastic about everything even if it is me offering to help with mums and toddlers and you knowing I will be more of a handicap than a help!!Mind you I did give out mulled wine(no NOT to the toddlers I am not that stupid!!!) , ate too many cakes and had a fantastic conversation with a 2 year old on Augustine and David Hume. He would have put my A level students to shame!! Nothing difficult there you wonderful ex students who I love to bits as you know .How could I not. You were my first group through and therefore very special to me and always will be.

On 12th I am going to see the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and I will save my comments until the new year as going to publish early. I also have a school parent/staff/ex staff! social on Monday and thanks again to all the parents who have supported over the years. Fantastic.

On Saturday 700 girls between 13-17 came to Soul Survivor from all over the country for Soul Sista where they do seminars, cafe areas, pamper areas, clothes stalls, Tear Fund etc and give them chance to talk about issues they feel strongly about. It was brilliant to see the speakers being such excellent role models in their mid 20's, mature, funny, sensitive, look great, at ease with themselves and passionate for God as able to communicate about Him in a way which is down to earth, realistic and exactly where these youngsters are at. It was great to see Rachel Kitchen who used to be one of the Pastor's of Soul Survivor who got married last year, lives in Nottingham and was doing one of the talks. Undoubedly this young lady is the most godly person I have ever encountered and a huge blessing to so many as she demonstrates the love of God in an awesome way.

Westlife have a fantastic 1st track on their album Face to Face and is almost a worship track. It definately makes me think of God taking me higher and deeper with Him than I have ever been before. As I have said in recent posts, music can speak to our hearts, minds, souls and spirits. For me God uses a multitude of ways, books, films, art galleries, the everyday things of life, people, creation to get my attention and speak in the most unlikely ways.

In one of the books I am reading "The Sacred Romance" God is asking why won't you choose Me?In the book it is talking about why don't you choose to spend time with ME and last week I did have a very honest conversation with Him!! It went something like Lord the reason I and many others don't come to you at times is because I am tired of just phrases from you or silence ( and yet we love the being in silence with those we love deeply) Anyway!!Lunching out, meeting others, socialising, emailing,coffeeing!! blogging and changing my amazing photos on the computer frankly is FAR MORE REWARDING IN OUR INSTANT SOCIETY. ( Albeit temporary rewards which can never satisfy deep down!!) I want you to talk to me like you did all these Old and New Testament guys not just a dribble but because I sit down and You seem to say nothing I get up and go off and do something else which seems more INTERESTING. I KNOW we should just be enjoying each other's company and You are hiding in order to draw me and of course I am not responding because I want instant fix, instant answers etc!! I actually said the word "why don't YOu bloody well talk to me" Shock horror as some read this but the Archbishop said "BLOODY" in his talk at SS last month so.....!!I know God can take my frustration at all this and I know He is drawing me into silence and intimacy with Him so as not to give the trinket of instant fixes but .....!!!Everyone knows I know best!!!

Actually I thought this morning that I am in THE WARDROBE OF THE LION, WITCH AND....It is dark but not the darkness of despair or terror but unable to see.It is a very large wardrobe and I am falling over shoes etc, thinking the way out is this but seeing these were red herrings. However I will emerge into the new land of Narnia and it is going to be brilliant! However on the morning of Thursday 8th ,the day it is released, Ruth prayed that I would emerge in SPRING AND NOT WINTER!!!!When I see the film on Monday there will be much symbolism with my own life. I think it was amazing of the Lord to arrange Hollywood to have this film come out exactly in time to speak to me of my own situation!! Fantastic!! So if those of you seeing the film have any insight for me, do pass it on but not if it is yes but in a wardrobe you could get strangled with Granny's fox fur! That really would not be helpful!!

I know it seems as if I treat God as an equal because of the familiarity of expression but do not be fooled by that. It says the "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" fear in terms of awe not scared and for me He is Lord of Lords and King of Kings and His mercy to us is incredible in the face of such honesty on my part!

I am praying for Norman Kemble and the other guys with him that their captives might show mercy. A courageous man in my view who clearly felt a peace with God in going out there.

On the last post I mentioned wanting to drop a note to Professor Mary Midgely who was on Desert Island Discs but amazingly she is NOT in Who's Who. If anyone can find her address for me I would be grateful.

I am finishing with Love, joy and peace candles as I think that is appropriate in the light of the season. .May you be blessed so much with these 3 wonderful gifts. Much love to you all at the end of 2005 and I WONDER where I shall be and what I shall be doing this time next year!! It is a very hard time but I will emerge even if it is taking longer than I could have imagined to regain my energy and zest for life again. Thanks for accepting me warts and all, as that is so liberating and I can just be myself and know I am loved.


Much love, now and always
Fliss xxxx

Tossed around in the storm but waiting with faith 2nd Dec.

Hi complete gems

Much love to you on 2nd December. It seems ages since I contributed to the blog as still finding it tough to feel so exhausted 3-4 days out of every week. I know the other days I look like I have just come back from a holiday and am glowing, which is extremely frustrating.

Since the last entry I have worked out why Thuzar in Burma cannot communicate with me via email or I with her. It is the problem with AOL and silly Fliss did not even twig that, since I stopped the school address in August ,this is when the problems started. I also see that Tutu and Havel are still putting pressure with the USA on the military junta and the UN Security Council. The junta, of course, argue that nobody should intervene in their internal affairs and we have seen that argument with Iraq although slightly different or is it? Any comments via email would be appreciated.

Sir David Frost was on Desert Island Discs today and one of his records was in praise of America and I was also interested to see he did not take the Bible with him, although his father, a Methodist minister, had a profound influence on him. I liked the way he came across and was interested in that he would like to be remembered "for being even half as good a father to his 3 boys as his own father had been to him. " Last Friday it was the philosopher Mary Midgely who came across really well and was once labelled the "most formidable philosopher in England" and she had numerous disputes with Richard Dawkins on genetics. If she had lived in Oxford I would have been cheeky and asked her if she wanted to take tea at the Randolph but she lives in Newcastle. Of course I would be out of my depths in conversing with her, but I think she would have been gracious enough to overlook that. A level Philosophy is hardly in the same league!! I will probably write to her and waffle on about this and that.

I went for an interview for the Hanover Foundation (has its own website if interested). It is for coaching students in schools in London where they are in risk of exclusion, C/D grades, gifted and talented - the whole range. Their results are impressive and it DOES appeal to me. I had a peace during the interview BUT I can see from their viewpoint that some of my answers could have been difficult to understand. Travelling will also be a real issue as sometimes they want us to be a Parent's Evenings which could be hard if out in the sticks and coming back late. I have therefore after praying said "Lord give them wisdom and IF they offer me a place I will take it as this is YOU"I can only do 3 days maximum as that is one of their conditions.


After the interview I popped into Somerset House and saw the ice rink which looked magical in the early evening light, lights on, Mozart playing and people having fun and some falling painfully on the ice. I should go up and have a go but if I had fallen my trousers would have split ( the same material as the ones which split on the flight to Kuala Lumpur and I had to wrap my jacket around my waist to hide the whole of my backside!!!) How embarrassing but still managing to stroll through KL airport looking like I did not have a care in the world.


I also went for an Indian with Sue and Cedi and it was great to see you both. It is a shame time goes so quickly and the months go by so quickly since we met. I also saw Janet today in Old Hemel who I used to play hockey with and if you are reading this Jan you were a fantastic player but not as patient as me on the hockey pitch!!! Of course you were the model of how people ought to behave on the pitch and I was not!!! I also went to the Grove with a friend from school which is the first time since Burma although their cake was a little disappointing and rather dry.

Last week there was a cheese and wine tasting at Soul Survivor and believe it or not I only guessed one wine correctly out of five! I must be out of practice. Also at Soul Survivor which has a ball this Saturday a friend Liz had the following picture when praying for me:

A tree was on the edge of water and suddenly it was uprooted and was being tossed around in the ocean. Branches everywhere, bark a mess, loads of dead stuff and a time of real turbelence ( can't spell). The next picture was the tree on a beautiful Caribean island the sun was bleaching the tree and ..... I am not telling you the rest just yet......!!!

I am now reading the next in the series called the Sacred Romance by same guy as Waking the Dead so we will see how it compares. The first chapter has me already so I look forward to some great parts and being challenged and refreshed. ALL you reading this go and buy WAKING THE DEAD BY JOHN ELDREDGE. This is the last time I will go on about it.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe comes out on film on 8th December and I am going to see it with a friend on 12th and my sister and niece over Christmas. I think C.S. Lewis's step son had alot of influence on the film and the London critics I have read so far have alot of good things to say about it "thrilling the heart" etc. I would encourage you to go and see it and possibly have a glimpse of magic in the midst of the lost innocence and commercialism of Christmas. C.S. Lewis would never have guessed that his book would have sold 95 million copies and been translated into 14 different languages but I know Someone who would have known the impact it would make and all of you if you see it will immediately spot the relevance to Easter!!

Oh dear someone has just been murdered on Poirot!! David Suchet is superb- the best one. I also like Miss Marple with Geraldine McKewan who is very different to Joan Hickson but still great. Yes I know you can tell my age.

Just been shoving loads of leaflets through doors for Soul Survivor ( every sympathy for postmen and women!!). We have got Christmas services coming up with mulled wine etc, a ball, what is Christmas talk, wrapping in Harlequin so it is a busy time for the church.

I will do one more blog before I go to Dad's on 19th.
I am still struggling with uploading the photos and on Friday night tried 4 times without success.
Lots of love
Fliss xx

PS If you want to be able to comment via blog let me know and I will put your email in otherwise I do not think it is good use of time if only 3-4 want to and I add all my address list!!