FlissPurpleHeartForBurma

Monday, December 05, 2005

At the end of 2005 I am in the Wardrobe!!


You complete gems
(feedback on length of blog( too much waffle!!) and regularity would be appreciated. Next year if you want a mention on this world wide blog then it will be £5000 and you cough up before I put you on!!)


I cannot believe that one of the nicest photos of me is naff on the blog as on the computer all of the images are so sharp and clear. Behind me it says:The Lord's unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in Him" which is very appropriate at the end of 2005. You will notice ( women probably will!!sorry guys) that the yellow duckling goes great with the yellow wall!!!

Actually the Lord probably stepped in and stopped the computer producing a Vogue like image of me as I already have an inflated sense of who I am !!It is actually water in the glass and not wine as it was only 9 am in the morning but those of you who know your Bible will be aware that the disciples were accused of being drunk when the Holy Spirit came upon them in Acts 2. However as it was only 9 o'clock in the morning no Jew would have taken alcohol that early. Ok so the rest of you are bored. Nothing new there then.

I am beginning to write this on 5th December and this morning I wrapped most of my Christmas presents, sent some off( got two returned) and wrote some cards. (YES! I am smirking!!)I must apologize for standard of cards this year but I decided I was not going to spend loads so I bought 5, 000 for 50p!! I usually give to a charity and would prefer to next year and just send one card on the blog next year. NOW there is an idea!!

Hey aren't these washing up bottles exciting!! Do not worry, people will always be more important to me than technology unless of course they are less interesting than waiting for the pictures to appear then ....! Of course my sister fits that description and do not worry Jayne when we meet I will pay for the first round of wine. I will have a specialised, large glass of something good and you can have small, sweet, cheap muck!! Ok. I know I am very naughty to use the blog to mention you, but only abit of fun but as you do not have a sense of humour this could be tricky!!!

In the last post of the year I must say thank you to all you fantastic people who have been so great this year, prayed for me, made me laugh, imparted wisdom and perspective, walked with me on the journey of life. I love you lots and I am not going to signal out particular ones as there are many but, as the influence of the following two has changed in my life, I wanted to say a special thankyou to Edith for being such a great line manager all those years, looking a million dollars everyday, being incredibly gracious ( how DID you manage it!) and to Linda B for being a great listening ear, classy, gracious and wise. Linda's blue bowl is in this blog with blue glass sweets from Burma here and Edith your necklace is perfect and makes me look even more classy!!. Impossible I hear you all say!!Actually both your blood pressures must now be normal now I have gone!!!

You know I really ought to have taken your job as Deputy Head Linda as I have SUCH diplomacy. Here is scenario when a member of staff ( there were hundreds) came to see you and I am you!!

Staff: Fliss can I see you for 5 minutes?

Me: Five minutes. I have heard that before.!!More like 35!! You only want to eat my best chocolate biscuits and my filter coffee. Clear off. Get a life. Stop snivelling.!!Some of us have work to do!!! Look at all this paper work and that cover list makes me want to jump off the science block EVERY DAY!!! Do I look like I have got time!!!

I also want to say a huge thankyou to Barbara G as you have been an incredible friend for over 15 years and I know your wisdom in God, heart for me and prayers have enriched my life more than I can say. Thank you does not even cover it.

The two friends who have come into my life more this year are Hilary and Anita.( both classy, with a sense of humour and chilled!!)Great to go to the Grove Hilary with you recently and have a cuppa in front of the fire on a fairly cold day. Anita I shall see you in the New Year. Here is to many more social events with you both but WHEN you really discover that I am really a head case you might be using hoovering as an excuse not to meet!! I have also met Suzanne ( who does my hair and deserves a medal ) and is great and Judy who is chilled, funny and I love your down to earth manner . Refreshing and welcome. I shall look forward to getting to know you all in 2006

The Hanover Foundation got back to me last week and they decided that I would not make a coach for the youngsters in London. I did pray they would both be in agreement on whatever decision was made. Possibly my honesty and slight vagueness could have been an issue!! Tricky one as I did have a peace( or maybe that was because I was directly opposite the OXO building whilst being interviewed and remembered all the great meals there!!) but did my heart come alive???and I believe the door was closed for reasons I will not know yet but one is usually left with more questions on guidance after the event.!!They are definately doing a great job and long for the day when they all over the country. All will be well for them and me. Of course I am not saying that my faith cushions the fact that I failed in that interview but a little reality is good for my ego!!!! Security can never be in what we do or our jobs and that will always be a lesson most of us can easily forget.

I also had lunch with Judy on Tuesday and met in Old Hemel which has a great gift shop, Christian bookshop which sells holy socks! and loads of places to eat with a least 2 braseries ( can't spell), 3 Indian and a coffee, sandwich deli kind of shop. We go back a long way at Parmiters and your humour, forthrightness and listening ear and perspective comments are all great. You star. On Friday I saw a dear friend who I love to bits in Berkshire and we were definately classy ladies doing lunch with pretty good wine. Sorry to all those who slaving away on Tuesday and Friday. My heart really does go out to you. Not!!

I also went to the Christmas Carol Service at school and felt slightly choked at one point but sorry I had to miss some of you students, as had to get a lift which I was very grateful for as I was wilting!! Remember I had been out all day lunching so very tiring!! Helen who gave me a lift is SO GRACIOUS. ( I am going to keep testing you so watch out Helen!! ) It was great to meet your parents and as I was wearing my purple longyi given to me by a friend in Rangoon and your dad was born in Rangoon, this gave an interesting touch to the evening!

I was way out of my comfort zone last Wednesday when I helped at the mums and tots Christmas Party at church!!! They have been getting over 90 mums with kiddies which is great but everyone knows me and toddlers and babies just do not mix. I admit to being useless with them but I did warn Ruth who is amazing and she was happy for me to help. Ruth you have that amazing gift of being enthusiastic about everything even if it is me offering to help with mums and toddlers and you knowing I will be more of a handicap than a help!!Mind you I did give out mulled wine(no NOT to the toddlers I am not that stupid!!!) , ate too many cakes and had a fantastic conversation with a 2 year old on Augustine and David Hume. He would have put my A level students to shame!! Nothing difficult there you wonderful ex students who I love to bits as you know .How could I not. You were my first group through and therefore very special to me and always will be.

On 12th I am going to see the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and I will save my comments until the new year as going to publish early. I also have a school parent/staff/ex staff! social on Monday and thanks again to all the parents who have supported over the years. Fantastic.

On Saturday 700 girls between 13-17 came to Soul Survivor from all over the country for Soul Sista where they do seminars, cafe areas, pamper areas, clothes stalls, Tear Fund etc and give them chance to talk about issues they feel strongly about. It was brilliant to see the speakers being such excellent role models in their mid 20's, mature, funny, sensitive, look great, at ease with themselves and passionate for God as able to communicate about Him in a way which is down to earth, realistic and exactly where these youngsters are at. It was great to see Rachel Kitchen who used to be one of the Pastor's of Soul Survivor who got married last year, lives in Nottingham and was doing one of the talks. Undoubedly this young lady is the most godly person I have ever encountered and a huge blessing to so many as she demonstrates the love of God in an awesome way.

Westlife have a fantastic 1st track on their album Face to Face and is almost a worship track. It definately makes me think of God taking me higher and deeper with Him than I have ever been before. As I have said in recent posts, music can speak to our hearts, minds, souls and spirits. For me God uses a multitude of ways, books, films, art galleries, the everyday things of life, people, creation to get my attention and speak in the most unlikely ways.


In one of the books I am reading "The Sacred Romance" God is asking why won't you choose Me?In the book it is talking about why don't you choose to spend time with ME and last week I did have a very honest conversation with Him!! It went something like Lord the reason I and many others don't come to you at times is because I am tired of just phrases from you or silence ( and yet we love the being in silence with those we love deeply) Anyway!!Lunching out, meeting others, socialising, emailing,coffeeing!! blogging and changing my amazing photos on the computer frankly is FAR MORE REWARDING IN OUR INSTANT SOCIETY. ( Albeit temporary rewards which can never satisfy deep down!!) I want you to talk to me like you did all these Old and New Testament guys not just a dribble but because I sit down and You seem to say nothing I get up and go off and do something else which seems more INTERESTING. I KNOW we should just be enjoying each other's company and You are hiding in order to draw me and of course I am not responding because I want instant fix, instant answers etc!! I actually said the word "why don't YOu bloody well talk to me" Shock horror as some read this but the Archbishop said "BLOODY" in his talk at SS last month so.....!!I know God can take my frustration at all this and I know He is drawing me into silence and intimacy with Him so as not to give the trinket of instant fixes but .....!!!Everyone knows I know best!!!

Actually I thought this morning that I am in THE WARDROBE OF THE LION, WITCH AND....It is dark but not the darkness of despair or terror but unable to see.It is a very large wardrobe and I am falling over shoes etc, thinking the way out is this but seeing these were red herrings. However I will emerge into the new land of Narnia and it is going to be brilliant! However on the morning of Thursday 8th ,the day it is released, Ruth prayed that I would emerge in SPRING AND NOT WINTER!!!!When I see the film on Monday there will be much symbolism with my own life. I think it was amazing of the Lord to arrange Hollywood to have this film come out exactly in time to speak to me of my own situation!! Fantastic!! So if those of you seeing the film have any insight for me, do pass it on but not if it is yes but in a wardrobe you could get strangled with Granny's fox fur! That really would not be helpful!!

I know it seems as if I treat God as an equal because of the familiarity of expression but do not be fooled by that. It says the "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" fear in terms of awe not scared and for me He is Lord of Lords and King of Kings and His mercy to us is incredible in the face of such honesty on my part!


I am praying for Norman Kemble and the other guys with him that their captives might show mercy. A courageous man in my view who clearly felt a peace with God in going out there.

On the last post I mentioned wanting to drop a note to Professor Mary Midgely who was on Desert Island Discs but amazingly she is NOT in Who's Who. If anyone can find her address for me I would be grateful.

I am finishing with Love, joy and peace candles as I think that is appropriate in the light of the season. .May you be blessed so much with these 3 wonderful gifts. Much love to you all at the end of 2005 and I WONDER where I shall be and what I shall be doing this time next year!! It is a very hard time but I will emerge even if it is taking longer than I could have imagined to regain my energy and zest for life again. Thanks for accepting me warts and all, as that is so liberating and I can just be myself and know I am loved.


Much love, now and always
Fliss xxxx


















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