Waiting with expectation and trepidation!! 29th October 2005

Hi you complete gems

Much love to you all. Thank you to all you have given me over the years. It is much appreciated.

Judith you will see that my wonderful green top in the photograph is the VERY ONE I bought in your local thrift shop ( US term for charity shop!!) in Utah several years ago. It has worn well and so have I and I still think it looks good!! I still remember when I was sitting on the non- stop flight to New York by mistake instead of the Salt Lake flight and had to make a quick exit to my plane which was next door!! I even remember knocking on the plane door and only wish I had had someone with a video camara behind me as it would have been brilliant!! Moses and the parting of the Red Sea ( or maybe it was the Sea of Reeds) had nothing on me as I yelled out "Lord please stop that plane" as it had moved from its stationary position. What a joke and none of this is exageration. They probably radioed across with a string of words I cannot even repeat in public!!

I have received prospectuses from 2 places which are training and Bible Colleges and they have open days in November. Frankly the thought of studying anymore does not appeal to me after doing preparation for all these years and sitting up to all hours with the A level. Nevertheless this will be different but it DEFINATELY DOES not appeal, although I know several people who are working abroad went to these kind of places in preparation!!. We will see. Today I went on a walk with a local group into the country and the daughter of one couple had been to one of the colleges I had sent off for!! Oh dear. We will see if that is significant or just a co-incidence!!

I have seen two friends this week who are both teachers and it was great to catch up with them. So thanks Gill and Amanda for giving up your valuable time, being so wonderful and I shall be thinking of you as you go back to work!!Snigger, snigger!! Gill the fridge magnet I gave you is ABSOLUTELY TRUE so do take that on board. Amanda you might copy me by having a blog too, but style really is individual so do not try and compete. Everyone else has tried and failed miserably!!

To show you that I am even sadder than my last comment I have also taken photos with my phone from the computer so I can use as wallpaper and also taken photos of things I like e.g. my double hearted brooch and I EVEN have the above photo of me too remind me what look like!! No copying this idea everyone. I know I could use bluetooth to copy pictures but cannot work out yet but did use infrared but do not know how I did it!!

On Wednesday I finally got through to Thuzar in Burma after trying for 6 weeks. Her emails have got bounced back and she wanted to say a huge thank you to all those people who prayed for her English exam which was so difficult. Some of the material was equivalent to stuff my A level candidates would use and it is not her first language. I was useless at helping her with the grammatical rules and even some of the vocabulary as she sat on the train with me and revised on long journeys. Her score was phenomenal and way above what any of us could have dreamed. I was choked as she told me as she had given up 12 days of her revision time for me in August. Rightly or wrongly I think God really honoured that. To think she was in the middle of Burma and the line was as clear as a local line( albeit people listening in!) was brilliant. AOL do a deal for £9.99 a month and calls to Burma are 30p a minute as opposed to others which are £1.30!!! Burma is one of the most censored countries in the world affecting the press, phone calls, emails etc

I went to a prayer and chocolate night on Tuesday which was great so thanks to Sophie for organising that. I have never had white maltezers before and did not even know they existed. The great thing is you could dive into the chocs whilst everyone had their eyes shut and were deep in prayer!!!!. I also spent time with 2 people I do not know very well but feel sure one of them will be someone I will know fairly well very soon.

I am waiting with expectation and know that all will be clear at the right time. Naturally I am continuing to pray, being open to all I can and still relishing the freedom. I was reading a book called "Out of control and loving it" ( ie let God lead me forth and do not try to control Him) by Lisa Bevere and her prayer journal really spoke to me. It was as follows:

"I know you feel dry and empty but this emptying is from Me. I am removing the last of the old but do not move to the soul. Stay in the Spirit. Spring up o well. Call that well forth. Call out for refreshing. You are on the threashold and in need of My strength. Let your mind be still ( easier said than done I think!!). There is a new grace on you to rise up... the time of preparation is at hand.. When I have shaken do not attempt to rebuild but allow Me to do the building. "

I am listening to the wonderful Emma Kirkby singing Handel's Gloria. I had not realised that he had written one until 4 years ago. I have heard EK several times and was so struck by her encouragement of some students at the Abbey last year. Her humility has been mentioned by several people and I think fantastic when she is world famous and has been in the spot light for years. I always feel encouraged by that especially as I saw someone I respect greatly in the acting profession but the interview did not leave me that enamoured at all. In contrast Olivia Newton John, in an interview with Parkinson last year, was superb and his interviewing is great, as opposed to one who will be nameless on another channel who thinks that inappropriate sexual comments are funny. What a sad person. Unfortunately this kind of view is outdated today, but do I care. Not a bit of it.

The other quote I saw this week was "God does not ask us to do the things that are easy to us naturally. He only asks us to do the things we are perfectly fitted to do by His grace" I am not sure I totally agree with that as I think I was naturally able to stand in front of a class, wear wacky clothes and waffle on for years!!

Did I mention an excellent interview with John Sentamu the new Archbishop of York on the Today programme last week? Fantastic and well done to the interviewer who I think was Sarah Montegue or it could have been Carolyn Quinn. Well done whoever you were. Interesting combination of him and Rowen Williams. I await with interest and anticipation

Oh dear today ( Saturday) I was at a church meeting and talking to various people. Later this guy had a word about " If anyone is thinking about biblical training then go for it". Forty of us heard it but three of us heard different things. I groaned when I heard that but when he said someone had come forward and said it was for them, I BREATHED A SIGH OF RELIEF. However three hours later I bumped into someone who is based in Notts at Bible College who was only in Watford for 30 minutes and when I asked her if she was glad she did it she said" Glad is not the right word but I know it is right for me! When I got home there was the magazine from All Nations College in Ware who have an OPEN Day next Saturday!! All coincidence or God!! Of course if I show I am open without being really open God might let me off the hook and say "Ok I was only testing you" Great cop out but He knows this could be me and I will flourish, have a brilliant time and who knows where it will lead. I am putting aside the next 4 days to really seek God so all social stuff will be on hold as loads going on in weeks following this!!

Another week over. I am about to go and see one of my ex -AS students in a play at the Palace Theatre on the Holocaust. Liz, who is going with me, is wise, funny, gracious and is worth her weight in gold. I now need to sort out images from web as just downloaded Picasa to try and stop the problem of unable to publish photos without endless attempts and endless emails across the pond to John in the US.

Much love as always. Keep me posted on how you all are as I am interested.

Fliss x xxxxx