The Desert will blossom! 21st October 2005

Hi complete gems !!!

I wonder if I should update every fortnight as maybe every week is too much for you all. I would welcome feedback from emails or comments on the blog( which you can't do unless I release you individually to do so which is too time consuming) . It does not bother me as only takes about 35 minutes a week so no time at all.

Today's reading was from Luke "and Jesus (Fliss) went into the desert...". It feels like a desert at the moment but, contrary to popular views ,a desert is not necessarily full of sand and barrenness. In Isaiah 35 it says the desert will blossom and therefore there is life and abundance. I feel I have much to learn in the next few weeks /months and feel that it might be tough but I know it will be a springboard for a new phase so will see. All dead stuff needs to give way to produce new life which will lead to greater fruitfulness. I am confident of this but time will tell. I am going to do a study of desert times in the Bible.

I also feel strongly that I have 7 books on the go May/June and feel I should put them all back on the shelf and concentrate on two- the Bible and maybe Billy Graham's autobiography. I want to find out what the next step is so unless I spend time with God and read His word it will be impossible to find out!! Not exactly rocket science.

I think I said at Job Centre I told them I could cope with making tea and simple filing and then burst into tears!!! Monday was difficult as the doctor signed me off. I have never felt so tired in my life and feel I have hit by a freight train and 25 years have accumulated. Ok so most of you are thinking "What!! There is NO JUSTICE. She has just swaned around for weeks, delighted at getting her life back, enjoying social life AND THEN she gets signed off!!!" It might encourage you to know I DID feel guilty for 2 days but now all I can say, as I am grinning from ear to ear, is "Get over it. Enjoy slogging at work ( ha ha) and as Oscar Wilde said " Work is only for the drinking classes!"

I had to go to the SSecurity centre to claim incapacity benefit ( what a joke ) How depressing. I will not go into detail about what I heard, saw and what they said. Suffice to say it was soul destroying and just made me livid!!!! Some people high on stuff, drinking outside, loads of freebies given out including everything paid to an ex- student of mine( albeit a sweetie) behind me. I should probably pretend to be pregnant with an abusive partner and tell them I am going to be homeless!!! Don't ask me how Christian compassion for the less fortunate comes into, this as no idea!!! God is a God of justice but this does not mean He is happy with those who are taking the state and the rest of us for a ride. (Did I hear anyone say like me!!You complete peasants. Get a life!!) There are deserving cases and I know that and I do NOT want to be legalistic and judgmental, but no doubt someone will comment on my lack of compassion, which is fine. My perspective on life is ALWAYS RIGHT as you all know so ......! Of course Fliss you all chorus in unison.

I feel that supply at my old school is not the right move. I have to go with that until I feel otherwise. Obviously even though I am off I will still be looking for jobs. I saw two jobs for teaching RS locally but again I do not feel I should go back into teaching R.S. However on Tuesday I received an email from one of above schools as I had sent for details last week ( only because Job Centre was on my case). They asked me to come for an interview on Thursday. I emailed back and said I have looked at stuff, do not think you are right school for me, I have no time to prepare a lesson( which accurately translates as I am not prepared to put any time in today !!) and I have no idea whether I am meant to be in teaching at all BUT if you still want to ask my old school for references and you want to call me for interview get back to me!! Nobody in their right mind would but we will see and a fleece is sometimes important if guidance is unclear. I might be wrong about RS. but that is ok and I will just adjust accordingly.

I got a new phone this week WHICH was a freebie to keep with my phone company another year, so that is fine as it is an upgrade.It has all kinds of gadgets( blue tooth, video, camera, music etc) which I have not sorted out yet. I also had to claim on my insurance for the digital camera which disappeared from school two days before I left. I really thought it would turn up as it disappeared from amongst the presents and I know there were outsiders in school that evening so.... !! It will arrive on Thursday so I can then use it and put my own photos on the blog as there will be no copyright!! If anyone knows laws about copyright in UK let me know.


I have a chaplaincy meeting on Tuesday from 10-2.00 and will have chance to talk to those who are doing it already which will be good. It was all very relaxed and I spoke to the minister from the local church who has had trouble over the years with the same lot who gave us a difficult time for 8 years. Again I felt exhausted and have also been for blood test this week.

Burma is cropping up in the United Nations, the Security Council and I have just emailed one of the Thai Senators (John U) who is constantly speaking up about it. I wonder if I will hear from him. I doubt it, but we will see if he thinks it is important enough. Liam Fox, Desmond Tutu, Kofi Anan, Vaclav H, have all mentioned the country recently and that has to be a step in the right direction, even though there is a long way to go. Shaftesbury laboured for about 35 years to see slavery abolished and people will not give up on this. Obviously there are loads of issues and injustices all over the world but we all have to find our own cause as we cannot get involved with everything!! One of the organisations I belong to has asked that I write to Kofi A and others so that is on my agenda this week. I have been waiting for Burma to have texts but like the email they will be monitored and controlled. Still my aim is to send a text to friends 6, OOO+ miles away and I will do SOON.

A friend and her husband, who moved to Cambridge in August, popped into church for an hour or so. It was good to see them and hear that God seems to have definitely gone before them as a family and that is great. They are an incredible family and, if they are reading this, I know it will not go to your heads!!I will soon see next time we meet! May God continue to bless you abundently as you give to others and carry on being amazingly hospitable and carry on being YOU. Be careful as I might publish your address on the next blog and you will have loads of visitors and then YOU CAN REALLY test your hospitality!!!!

The incredibly classy Nicki came round to pray on Tuesday and, as ever, it was brilliant to see her and thanks N IF YOU are reading this( sad girl!!) for giving up your valuable time. You are a gem and please understand even though I go on about you being classy ( as I feel you might be discouraged in trying to compete with me!!) there is FAR MORE to you than just class- your passion for God, wisdom and down to earth manner, integrity, humour, honesty and just one brilliant person. Ok enough praise for one blog. Actually you know that all the praise is because I have my eye on your house which has a purple door, is tastefully decorated ( i.e. my choice!) and I think you have green and purple curtains in the front room as well as the fantastic wooden floors. Good to know my influence is rubbing off. In church one day I will give that word from the Lord "R and N give your house to Fliss" and of course I will make it authentic by having a picture too!!

I am listening to the Bach Cantatas (conducted by Philip Herreweghe) as I write this which are uplifting.The mass in G major "Cum Sancto Spiritu" is awesome just like the CSS is great in the B Minor Mass. I also met my brother in law in London and we found a brilliant place called Mercury in Upper Road Islington. What food fantastic ( £5.95 for main course, £2.50+ for starter or sweets) good atmosphere,great service and the prices are brilliant for London.

So all in all a fairly up and down week but as I go out in the rain I have my chocolate umbrella ( kindly given by some wonderful friends from Oxford who are two of the ones who meet for a drink(usually at the Ritz) and a meal for my birthday. All 4 of them are brilliant and of course you know I love you all to bits . Hence the photo above. Excellent idea of mine. I am just full of them I know!

So all you teachers and those who work in schools enjoy half-term, chill out and recharge the batteries. Sorry about rest who do not get a break. I must say a special thanks to the wonderful secretaries at my old school who have been fantastic in doing all the jobs I have given you to do for magazine, reference etc.!!Don't forget to please send me a copy of interview BEFORE it goes into P magazine please G. All this public praise might mean you will carry on being kind to me ....... !! You gracious ladies. I taught you well!! Ha Ha!!

Take care of yourselves. . This is my groovy chick bin but when I get used to camara I will have better photographs than this.

Much love at the end of this blog. Ruth I will make sure the bacon sandwiches are hot next time you come round for early breakfast!!

Fliss xxx