Reflection over endless coffees 15th October 2005

Hi you gems
(coffee in Pyin U Lwin in the middle of a great train journey to Lashio but picture to blog is not clear yet it is on the computer. Suggestions please?)
I would like to say a special hello to any ex- students who are now at University and any wonderful 6th formers who might be reading this. I hope you are enjoying the next stage and those at university are joining lots of societies and meeting new people. You all have much to offer.

Even though the week has been busy I have also felt it important to have times for reflection and see my way forward. Oh dear at this point you have all pressed the delete button. I realise that you very busy people ( I am smiling!!) hardly have any time for reflection but.....

I heard Desert Island Discs on Friday featuring a BBC journalist who was badly injured in Saudi and his camara man was killed. It was excellent, so if you get chance to hear it again on the net I would recommend it. I have heard some inspirational people on that programme and discoverd Avo Part's Spiegal et spiegal ( can't spell the piece or his name) which was on an amazing film Wit where the last scene needs a whole tissue box as this incredible music is in the background. It cost me £3.90 for the DVD and to send it from Canada from Amazon. It is one of the best films I have seen in years and the performance of the leading person is wonderful. Your homework is to find out who it is!!!

Last Friday's GTC magazine was devoted to mentoring and coaching so I have emailed two places, one the Hanover Foundation in London so will see. I am still unsure whether the work abroad is for now or later. Last month when I was praying I felt that God said:


"You have to put Burma down. You may never look into the eyes of people you love in Burma or set foot in the country. Your hope cannot be in returning. It has to be in Me. Whilst your hands are full of Burma I cannot give you anything else."

All true. I do not think He is saying I will NEVER go back ( or is that just wishful thinking!!) but that my hope can never be in it. That is true. My hope cannot be in anything else- Burma, social life, people, my personality and humour!!church etc!

I know it is important to say WHATEVER, WHEREVER LORD I will do and I will go, BUT I am not ready for that yet. The Hanover Foundation emailed back and said they are not recruiting until next year but to send my CV.

I was interested in the reaction by one of the commentators Nick Parkes on the fire in Bristol which destroyed all the props from Wallace and Grommit that in the light of the tragedy in Pakistan this is nothing. We are so used to people calling all kind of things a tragedy ( like England loosing football matches etc, pathetic incidents that do not even merit the word tragedy and in any other society would not be given to it).

Since Monday afternoon this has been the most difficult week since I finished culminating with my being in tears and feeling totally burned out and 25 years of slog hit me full on at the Job Seekers interview. She said what shall I put you down for. I said all I feel I can cope with is simple filing and making tea. I felt a real twit and she referred me to the doctor to see if he would sign me off. After I have felt so amazing I now feel as if I have been hit with a freight train and the feeling of nothing to give is overwhelming. I am sure it will be fine soon. In fact today I did see the doctor and he has signed me off for 6 weeks to get some space as they want you to apply for 2 jobs a week and frankly that puts such a strain on looking for other stuff. I have been to job fairs, sent off information for 2 R.S. jobs locally ( but do NOT think these are right), emailed Hanover Foundation, got TES and other things. I feel there are lots of interests and strands but cannot work out how they will come together.

Just bought a book by Maxwell and Dornan. If I told you the title you would all be groaning or thinking "What. She has bought that. Who DOES she think she is!! The title has 5 words in and a brown cover. If any of you has nothing better to do then find out what it is......!!! One of the quotes in it states:

Character is made in the small moments of our lives. Philip Brookes a 19th century clergyman.

There are loads of other quotes in the first two chapters and I will select best three for next weeks blog. Yes I know you can't wait.

Tomorrow Dr Elaine Storkey (well known speaker and writer from Oxford) is speaking on the trafficking of women, sexual and medical ethics and global poverty. I would like to go but there is also a party in the evening to say thanks to Tim and his wife Rachel at Soul Survivor who are moving to HTB so will see if I can do both.

Enjoy the weekend everyone. You have 2 pieces of homework to do and any tips about why photo is blurred and which photos I can use which do not breach copy right would be great.

Much love of course

Fliss xxx