Coloured co-ordinated travellers ( Thuzar and I)
Hi you complete gems!!
I know it has taken me ages to put this together, but since being back I have found it incredibly difficult and feel my heart is still there. I know it is pathetic and I know some of you will find this OTT and immature. However as the plane took off from Rangoon airport, with me in floods of tears, much to the consternation of the guy next to me and the stewardess, I knew within my heart I am going back. I do not think it is wishful thinking and, with no job, only time will tell!! !
Needless to say it was AWESOME, AMAZING and blew my heart on so many occasions. Thank you to those who prayed that Thuzar, the friend from last year, would come with me on the first part of the trip because, for me, she was a real gift from God. I have met hundreds of people in my life but this young lady at 31 is one of the most remarkable people I have EVER met, but of course she cannot see it!!! Her compassion, kindness, extreme graciousness ( in the face of me prattling on for 11 days), sense of humour were all great. She also gave two weeks of her time, despite the fact she had a very important English exam in August. I have to say that in all the 11 days I did not feel irritated once ( a miracle on a parr with the Resurrection or pretty close). Of course I cannot speak for her. I dread to think what was going on inside her head!!
We travelled by train which was brilliant to. Maymo, Hsipaw and the furthest I could go was Lashio. In Lashio I had a fantastic day, spoke to lots of people and at 4.00pm found myself in an incredible conversation with a lawyer about his country, my country why I was a Christian. It was amazing and with coffee provided, I was in my element. I also met some Christians, found a blue jacket, gave mine of ten years to the shopkeepers’s mother and felt like God opened up every encounter that day. On the day I was in Lashio by myself as Thuzar had gone to the Chinese border with a friend which I was not allowed to do as a foreigner I bumped into the lady who had sat next to us on the train and she insisted on taking me with her husband for tea and coffee. The guys who served the coffee looked like Fagin's gang and I did say a quick prayer to protect my stomach as the cleanliness was zero!!!
There were so many wow moments - 2 fantastic friends who I love to bits, the train, great food and company so often, the combination of people, out with Kyi Kyi and her brother, although it was very frustrating not to be able to talk to people in their language, coffee at a great place, on Mandaley hill waiting for the sun to go down, walking to a waterfall and teasing some French about needing oxygen tanks as we were exhausted, art galleries, great conversations and encounters even without words, sleeping in a house miles from anywhere and sitting round camp fire in house with nothing else, lunch at Monsoon in Rangoon, and trecking in the second week, talking to a pastor. Kyi Kyi is also a real gem, another amazing and remarkable person but unfortunately I did not see her enough as she had to go to Bangkok on business. She is talented, wonderful too, funny and a great person. I love her to bits and she has so much to give so many people but not sure you knows this deep, deep down!!! Maybe she does and who am I to say. God gave me so many of these moments which were a glimpse of perfection for me. Little things but enormously significant
Obviously I was praying alot about my future but got nothing!! I did get "Trust Me" on countless occasions but I feel that was more for the trip and my fear of seeing any reptiles especially as sometimes waist high in water, grass, undergrowth etc!! . However I suggested to Thuzar that God might want me to start a purple and green society and she could be my link in Burma. We spent time playing spot the p and green stuff, longyis, wellingtons, seats in airports, macs etc, etc. We were the most colour co-ordinated travellers, as she often wore purple and I had green or blue or purple - we looked stunning!! I think I might write to govt and suggest they change the flag so I can do one and sell to Americans, Spanish, Germans and French as no English were there ( apart from a VERY irritating LOUD English family) who compared the bus in Burma to a London bus. I hate seeing any tourists!!!!
The trecking was more challenging than I had imagined. I had thought
gentle stroll mostly on the flat, but in fact it was up hills ( I called them small mountains, waist high in water on occasions( but offered the arm of the delightful Burmese guy who was unmarried, 32 and a brilliant cook!!!!! incredible scenery, thick mud and very steep inclines, thunder and lightening and near electric cables( everyone else was cool about it!!, a local house with no facilities ( and I mean no facilities or possessions) except a fire in the middle of a room where local people came to ask questions of the wacky foreigner who was touring their country. Some children had never seen a non Burmese personand were intrigued. The 2 male guides who came with us were incredible - humble, gracious, kind and, as I said, one was an amazing cook. One was a leader in that particular ethnic group whose wife lived in Singapore and he only saw her every 2 years ( very common and a disgrace), He had taken the American Ambassador around the Thai Burmese border and loads of other people and I could ask him anything, so I was in my element. He was critical of the govt so out of ear shot we had some incredible talks. He had only ever taken one other foreigner in ten years into the areas we went to do I felt very privileged. Somehow I think he will get me and maybe Thuzar ( if she can bear to take another trip!!) into areas which I cannot go to a present BUT I WILL DO AND WILL WAIT eg Chin State, Kayah. Kachin and the infamous area of Karen State were all kinds of things are going on. Go to CSW and FBR to find out if any of you are interested but it makes for unpleasant viewing in FBR site.
Most Westerners go to the Thai /Burmese border to the Karen which is fine but my heart is for other parts of Burma. I know CSW is against "tourism" along with hundreds of others and I respect Baroness Cox and the organisation greatly as I am part of it, but I just know that as Henry David Thoreau said and I am taking it out of context as I do not think we shared the same views on God" IF a man does not keep pace with his companions perhaps it is because it hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears however measured or far away." I do think I have a different heart interest than the Thai /Burma border and before God feel ok about it.
In the last 2 days I was in tears quite a bit and both of us were in tears on the final morning. Shakespeare said "parting is such sweet sorrow". I find it hell and have always done so. I think Burma has been the worst as last 3 years I have been in floods!! The guy on the plane and the air hostesses must have found it strange to see this foreigner in floods as the plane left!!!!
I also went to Singapore where there could not be more contrast!! Lots to commend it, met some Christians in Little India and had a great time with them, walked around loads, saw great stuff but I worry about the materialism, goals and dare I say spiritual vacuum. I think this is a crucial time for them to balance stuff and not just seek the material which can never satisfy. Ok I am going off on one so will stop!!
So needless to say I have no idea about the future although I have asked God to open up every divine encounter, open every door, let me see every article, magazine I am meant to see, go on every course etc. .
I am will put some pictures on in time even though I took loads. I had to borrow a digital as mine disappeared on last day of school but still praying it will turn up. I hope I put it down somewhere as nothing has ever been taken from me in 21 years, despite leaving valuables and money around often.
My niece, sister and brother in law came down last weekend to celebrate n' s birthday. We went to the Ritz, Oxo building and GUESS WHAT!! I bought some purple pumps with hearts on with some of school money. I have taken a picture with digital and will email soon. Bet you cannot wait.
I have been reading a book called "Waking the Dead by John Eldridge about a heart which is fully alive. It is right up my street as it challenges me and that is what I need. I also saw an amazing film called "War to end all wars" written by Ernest Gordon who wrote Bridge on the River Kwai. It stars Robert Carlye and Keifer Sutherland and is set on Thai /Burmese Border. The last 20 minutes is tear jerking, challenging and should not be missed. I have the video but will probably order the DVD from Amazon. I would urge you to see it when it comes out on video. Ernest G became chaplain of Princeton University, sounded an amazing guy and died in 2002 at the age of around 84. I want to find out more about him.
I also joined the British Burma Society yesterday which has some Lord,s Ladies, Ambassador's, those related to ASSK and ordinary people like me. First meeting is 4th October with a glass of wine at Royal Society of Medicine in Chandos Place so I am up for that ( should be decent wine with the above going!!! )ALSO contacted the School of Oriental and African Studies as I want to learn the Burmese language and lots of people from the group have either lectured in it all over the world or have learnt it. I feel excited about this door. It will have to be God as I am ____ at languages!!! However it is too expensive with me not working.
School returned yesterday but it feels years back since I was there, although I am waiting for some kind of bereavement process to kick in. It might not , as I asked God to prepare me to leave before I left so will see.
I have seen loads of people for lunch and now I must be more restrained in September for obvious reasons!! However I have a real peace that all will be well and my social life will continue albeit in a slightly different capacity but I doubt it!!!
The A level results were pleasing, AS great, GCSE year 11 good in part and 10 (GCSE 98% A*-C )and even 9 were very good bordering on excellent. None of the 9's who have worked so hard got below a C grade in their GCSE paper. Thank you Lord. The gamble paid off!!Well done to many of you fantastic students.
So to those I have not seen yet, let us meet up at some point. If any of you are praying and get anything then do pass it on. It WILL save me having to pray as I prefer lazing around and having lunch out!! Actually i feel very strongly that there must be discipline in the days, prayer, exercise/cycling, letter writing to friends and on human rights issues etc. I will also write to Kristin Scott Thomas the actress as for some reason she has come to mind.
Sorry if some of you are bored although you have probably pressed the delete button by now. Students sorry for SO MUCH WAFFLE. Nothing new!!
Some great quotes that I have been thinking about recently
"Faith is the daring of the soul to go further than it can see"
"Abandonment is not just hanging lose it is letting go. It is the severing of the strings which one manipulates the controls. We set ourselves at God's disposal"
May I be free to be able to stand up, leave everything behind
without looking back and say yes Lord!!
Love is the serving heart that seeks no return, no thanks, no honour. Love is the tireless touch that tells another I am here. Love is the capacity to suffer with another to give and to retire unnoticed, ready to answer the call again.
Love deeply and if necessary use words ( adapted from ST Augustine
1 Chronicles 4
" O that You would bless me indeed and enlarge my territory. That your hand would be with me.. so God granted (her) what she requested"
When we take up permanent resident in a life of love we live in God and God lives in us. That way love has the run of the house. If any of us loves God but hates his/her brother or sister he/she is a liar!!
I have been given various words over the weeks but will just wait and see they were God or not. One was that I have been looking through the slats of the fence into the next door garden and now God is going to move me into the garden.
Diplomatic immunity
Moving up in the world and lots of others
On 18th September I have to say I am LOVING the freedom and this week is manic with 2 conferences, speech night, out to lunch, in London for a job fair, prayer meeting coffee with friends!!!
My other blogs will not be this long as this is too detailed but I am just learning about bloggs and it will be much shorter next week.
Lots of love
Fliss G X X.
