Fliss, the Sacred Romance & a roller coster going uphill

Hi you complete gems
( picture is at you know where and I like it!)

So here we are into April and where on earth have the last 8 months gone!! Spring is such a great time as it speaks so much of new life emerging. Nobody could fail to be moved by the sight of the little crocuses and snowdrops pushing their way to the surface– delicate yet beautiful. Go on take a real look and admire in your busy days! However I completely forgot about the clock change and arrived at church at 10.50am wondering why on earth everybody seemed on time which is very unusual for Soul Survivor!!

I am listening to Katie Melua “Call off the Search” (track 2 on a slow train up a hill speaks to me, but the drop like the roller coaster will come!!)from the library. I went to pick up a book on Hillary Clinton and Condoleeza Rice. Sharp intake of breath at the mention of these two no doubt. I have just finishing reading Hillary Clinton’s Living History and I find her to be vulnerable, humble, deeply in love with Bill( despite everything, respects him hugely and she said he was the most interesting, enriching and alive person she knew. Frankly bits of it made me cry and some of it spoke to me so clearly about my own life!! In fact today I have just emailed her at the website in NY but had to make up an address as outside US. and it would not send without!! I also said why wasn't there a box for encouragement on the website, what did that say! told her vulnerability was refreshing and gave her a few verses as she repeatedly talked about prayer being vital and her prayer group ....!! However I am now reading Condi V Hillary where the writer ( an ex- employee of Bill C) has a real axe to grind with Hillary and has made that crystal clear in the first 8 pages. Of course she could have fooled me completely in the book. We will see!!

So what has been happening? Well there is still no movement on the Burma thing as the guy is not back yet. Like winter there is a lot happening beneath the surface of my life and all that I have learned and am learning in this time will be woven into the “rich tapestry of my life”

As you know from the last posting, I am seeing the psychologist every Friday at 2pm. I know for a fact that she has been bribing her line manager to give her someone less wacky, but so far they have declined!! When I prayed about it, I felt God say that He is pretty busy at the moment with millions of issues but He chose this person as she would be ideal for me and the Angel Gabriel is dropping the dosh into her garden each week!! Actually I have benefited greatly from it and we have talked about bereavement, irritation(!), anger etc. She asked me what I would say to one particular person who irritated me. I said “Why don’t you emigrate to the furthest country in the world” sounded about right!! As she is into coloured clothes and wore a heart necklace last time (and everyone knows I am into hearts) I think this is all part of the restoration and the Lord is glad of the break!! Do pray for grace for her, those who do pray!! She probably goes on the sherry at 3pm each Friday!! Good heavens I might even have my perspective changed on some issues. Yes really!! Eating humble pie and learning that I COULD be wrong at times is pretty close to the miracle of the Resurrection!!. Yes you all chorus!! Oh DO shut up, you are all so PREDICTABLE!!!


I do find it difficult not to be able to ask her any questions about her background, life, interests, travel etc and that is totally alien to me as I do find most people interesting and like to ask questions.!! I was also thinking about eye contact as I said to her that the eyes are the window of the soul and I did not usually establish eye contact if angry or frustrated.!! Psychologists will establish eye contact as they are meant to be listening, so of course it tells me nothing about the person and I realise that frustrates me! In fact I know that I am very conditioned to quality time, hate waste and usually sum up a social situation as great, good or not IF I have got to know the person better!!This situation, of course, is not social, but I can see a thread running through my life in these sessions on time in my life generally and not wasting it on something I think is not quality! The waffle in those 50 minutes is even worse than the blog, impossible as it may seem!! As I am talking twice as much as a social situation ............!!!

I attended the Alpha launch on Tuesday where a friend’s Jazz band were playing and were amazing. They would be great for my 50th but that is still 3.5 years off yet. It would be good to see this sort of thing in Soul Survivor and would add a new dimension to our worship and the services. Tomorrow 160 from SS go to South African to work on projects in townships etc which should be great.

I finally went to the Grove with Janette who is one classy, kind and extremely funny lady. However, she deemed it necessary to ask if I was INTOLERANT!! Can you believe it! ME INTOLERANT!! Janette you WERE invited among the 9 next week who are going to the Grove for a cuppa etc but I think you have just been dropped from my list. What a nerve!

Yesterday I popped into classy Berkhamsted to have a cuppa, buy 2 birthday presents and bumped into an ex -colleague from the Maths Dept who works part-time. Really, people swaning around in tea shops!! Berko ( apart from great charity shops) has this brilliant place which has 3 floors of antiques and IF I had the house would be buying stuff all the time. However on the top it has a delightful café which is a superb chill out place.

I also went for a walk with 8 others on Tuesday morning round Chipperfield and that was pleasant. However in the afternoon and Wednesday morning I felt completely all in again. I know I must be patient in this stage of my life but want the balance between pushing through the tiredness as we all do and just being in this time. I attended a conference on Saturday on missions and met 2 people from YWAM ( one Korean and one from NZ ) who had been to Burma on a 3 week visit and worked with churches out there. We will see where this goes.

I have had various really encouraging prophetic words from a range of people which is good. There have been ones about God removing my rags in this time, stuff stripped away etc and all the above is part of it but also promise of restoration. I keep being alerted to all the building projects in Watford and feel this is what God is saying to me that He is rebuilding certain areas which have been worn down and new things are being put in place. The verse from Isaiah 30 V18 is fairly apt:


“The Lord longs to be gracious to you. He rises to show you compassion. Blessed are all who wait for Him. “
I have also been given “Be still and know that I am God” several times and the next person to give it to me might well end up with a black eye!! I want and am giving time to Him each day so that this most important relationship will grow.

So those of you who are worried about me please don’t be. I KNOW He is with me and what more can I ask for? The God of the universe is with little old Fliss..I know in time He will “extend my borders” and cause me to sail out into the open sea, but at the moment I am in the harbour and He wants me to spend time with Him and enjoy our relationship.

I am going to see the wonderful Lisa who is one of the most peaceful people I know. this week in Harpenden and the equally wonderful Val who I also love to bits. On Thursday 9 of us are off the Grove for a chat and cuppa before going to dads on 8th. I hope to reserve the library but the above are a real pain about not being able to book as non- residents, although the guy, who attended to the request, was delightful. There are 16 of us for dinner at the amazing Kim and Mark's on Friday to celebrate Gill's birthday, so an interesting week.

I am pleased that Abdul Rahman in Afganistan has not been sentenced to death( but will still be in danger) as so many others all over the world are. Today I received the first of emails on the persecuted church and it makes very disturbing reading. I admire people so much who are threatened with their lives in every way but will not deny their beliefs. Awesome and humbling in the extreme.

Enjoy the beauty of those little flowers when you have a moment.

Thanks to all of you for the input into my life. It is awesome and I am privileged.
Much love you gems xxx
Fliss